| last night |
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| 09:10am 19/03/2005 |
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mood:  good music: konstantine
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um, well last night was a shit load of fun. i had my baby. but i went out anyway. art asked me to take a walk and we ended up a dukes house. and yea. we just hung out, and stuff. i bet you wanna know what the and stuff is. well. lets just say ive never been drunk before? lmao. i couldnt stop laughing over nothing. omg. we didnt even get caught. i thought that i would have been all , but i wasnt. they didnt trust me either. i kept my mouth closed. haha. best night ever. and its like. yea. i dont know. im kind of happy now. and yay! bres home<33333 i love herrrrrrrr! so i think we're going to get food or something later today. i dunno though. my baby woke me up 4 times last night, and it was screaming, i was so pissed. and it was hard to hold the key in and what not. but yea anyway. that was last night. and now im not doing anything, just go out of the shower. i smell good :) later<3 |
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| baby <3 |
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| 04:54pm 18/03/2005 |
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mood:  confused music: greeley estates
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okay so. since yesterday nothing is new. i mean i still fucking hate my brother and wish bad things on him. and my mom ont even begin to see how i feel about this. but oh well. and my dad. GAH! i dont even want to talk about it. but school, we can talk about that. it sucks more than ever. i have so much work and so much time to do it, i just dont wanna. like, i have better things to do? not really. but thats what i make myseld believe to get out of it. missy is going to europe or something like that for a week. ugh, im going to die. like the only person that gets it, is leaving me. again. im going to cry, lol. not really. but i did in school. because. yea. haha. i have this english paper to do, for ms. sanders. she can go screw my gay brother and i hope they have ugly babies. because i hate them both. and i have this life skills project, which i should get started. its due wednesday. rawr! not in the mood. i guess i come off as a bitch when im in this mood, like i wanna punch your face. but, oh well. im not, i mean. well. i wont go there. lol. thats a whole nother day. anyway. i have my babe this weekend. i named her bresus. and she just cried for 20 mintues, but me being the good mommy i am, took care of it. and right now i am majorly craving carvel. ughhh! so bad. i wantttttt it. mel and eric took me home today. and then. yea. thats all. i dont have any plans this weekend. except for my projects and i think im going to babys r us to do my thinger. im not sure. but my cells not working. and blah. so yea. ill most likely be here. online, or something. i think that tomorrow we are all going out to eat with bre and everyone. :) im excited. oh man!!! <3 yea. mhm. im done. |
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| i dont even fucking know |
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| 08:29pm 17/03/2005 |
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okay so i am going to try and keep this thing up, because yea. so i cant write down stupid shit like how i feel. and i wont get mad at myself or anything of that shit thats not good. so yea. right now im in THE WORST MOOD EVER. i want to cry and not wake up tomorrow. i dont even know why. its like. i have nothing at all. i am so fed up with everything, everything, everything. friends, family, and school. and fucking boys. im so over it. i want something new. i think i need edge. i need risks. i need something other than me, plain boring, and oh, yea, innocent. fuck that shit. im over it. so at school, i cant even concentrate, i day dream about nothing. i cant keep my mind on math or history or anything longer than 5 mintues with out busting out my pen and my note book. its like. i write lyrics, the same ones, over and over again. i hate school, i hate the people at school. just the whole thing. and fucking teachers that give me THREE days of detention. and then dont even fucking get my started on home. because thats a bunch of bull shit. my fucking brother, god damn it, i hope he dies. hes such a little dick head. the most lazy person i know. he does nothing, but gets everything. he needs a wake up call, like a smack in the face. like i want to hit him. all of a sudden he NEEDS the computer, when i had a bad fucking day and am in tears, he NEEDS it. like its his fucking oxygen. im going to punch his face one day, he'll cry, i'll get grounded, and laugh. oh well? what the fuck is new. thats all im doing. is school. and getting grounded and yelled at. and what the fuck is with my dad wanting to see me all of a sudden when he told me to kiss his ass? yea, that like fell out of the sky. fuck it. im so over it all. like its poinless drama. im done, i dont even know what to do. its like. i have no one. and i feel like no one cares, but they do. i need something new. i need a boy. or something. no, not a boy. just UGHH! i dont even know. i want summer, yea. thats exactly what i fucking need is my summer. its the best thing in the world. and ill see eric and wont have school and just friends and boys and vacation and summer. and right now. yea. i dont know how im going on vacation this summer, because of fucking money, that my mom doesnt have. i think im getting a job so i can dance next year. thats something else i need, dance. i miss it so bad, it was like 10 years, then nothing. it sucks. so yea. thats how everythings going lately. nothing good, nothing horrible. just nothing at all. and if you read this, which i doubt, you can thank my trishy for telling me a journal helps with shit. which it may. but i dunno. so im done with this for today. later. |
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| first period..again |
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| 07:58am 23/02/2005 |
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bored and tired
oh so tired
im supposed to be working
on this paper? i think
but, nope. i decided not to
only because i cant find any
of the answers, haha
yesterday after school i
came home and went on line
and did some wash and thats all
theres nothing to do anymore
mantua, mullica hill, sewell, harrison
NOTHING, it kind of sucksss </3
but anywaym i think that thursday
me and britt a and ryan or me and britt a or me and ryan'
are hanging outm plus some more people?
not sure, but its a half day so..
it took me likean hour toget to sleep last night
and im so tired, and im bummin it today,
hairs up, favorite jeans, and sweatshirt
yea yea =]
ahaha laterrr <3 |
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| ick, tuesday |
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| 07:46am 22/02/2005 |
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um, its tuesaday and um..
i dont feel like being in school today
well, its like any other day
first period is so gay
the end
this weekend was..pretty fun =]
friday-gov came over and we hung out
and took some pictures and she slept
over. in the morning i made pancakes
woop!! and i didnt even burn them,
you should be proud hahah
saturday-did some stuff with my mom
like helped her? and then later
me and britt walked to ryans
and..we all just hung out and stuff
zipppppppppp hehehe
sunday-i went to philly for my aunts
birthdays and stuff, and britt came
we took pictures on mainstreet
monday-i am the laziest person you know
hahah i didnt do anything, at all
um, that was my weekend
and i was just typing all that
my science teacher was standing behind me
reading everything i was writing,
how nice? lmao, he said something
and i jumped like 2 feet off my seat
half day on thursday, i can see myself
at sals, like always
so my aunt and uncle are moving in
..like march or april or something
like that, yay?! nahh
big show on the 26th, dying to go
rides? anyone? anyone? ahaha
later gangster! |
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| first period |
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| 08:08am 17/02/2005 |
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im in first period
it is soooo stupid
he gives us this stupid
work sheet, and not a website
to find the answers on
blah..
four day weekend
yay! =] i have no plans though
so anyy onee? anyy onee? at all?
ahaha. my gov is sleeping over
tonight, were going to get
the note book <3
how cute haha
i dont think there are any
shows either, so ill be stuck at home
most likely walking to the thrift store
or sals with britt like always
haha yesterday we took a walk up to
kmart, and we saw my mom so we
like ran to behind kmart or what ev
and my mom was like girls what are you doing
and at the same time we said
we are selling ourselves
of course we were joking but she said in a mommy voice
sam, dont do that.
ahaha what a kodak moment, yea right
then we met up with chris and walked around
home depot and kohls, what fun.
we layed on some beds and what ev
then we came back to my house and
we watched garfield, what a stupid movie
um, and thats all that happened
then this morning i thought it was saturday
it blows but we hav a long weekend
and i am so sleeping in so mhm
the end <3 |
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| uh huh |
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| 03:53pm 16/02/2005 |
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i think that im going to re-do my live journal like back ground and what not im kind of getting bored with this one anyway i dont feel like updating nothing has been going on i wore a skirt today so did britt and i got a lot of weird looks from people a lot of attention? weird but thats all i think im going to massachusetts soon hope so <3 |
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| 05:59pm 14/02/2005 |
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[ .. ] first name: samantha
[ .. ] middle name: lynn
[ .. ] nickname(s): sam, samuel
[ .. ] gender: female
[ .. ] birthday: january 16th
[ .. ] height: 5'7
[ .. ] hair color: brown
[ .. ] eye color: blue
[ .. ] do you wear glasses or contacts: both
[ .. ] do you have braces: nope
[ .. ] is your hair long or short: medium
[ .. ] where were you born: camden aha
[ .. ] current location: my basement
[ .. ] zodiac sign: capricorn
[ .. ] how many languages do you know: 2
[ .. ] bad habit: chew the my cheek
[ .. ] piercings you have: 2
[ .. ] piercings you want: my sencond holes, carlidge, and middle
[ .. ] tattoos you have: none
[ .. ] tattoos you want: not sure?
[ .. ] today's date: valentines day
[ .. ] the time: 6:02
[ .. ] are you still in school: yep
[ .. ] did you drop out: no
[ .. ] least favorite subjects: math
[ .. ] most humiliating moment: hm, falling on my face in sears?
: favorites :
[ .. ] numbers: 4 and 8
[ .. ] shoes: i liked my chucks
[ .. ] saying: fuck you =] jk
[ .. ] tv show: life as we know it..got canceled
[ .. ] vegetable: brocoli
[ .. ] fruit: strawberries
[ .. ] candy: startburts
[ .. ] gum: trident
[ .. ] candy bar: snickers
[ .. ] ice cream flavor: vanilla and mint chocolate chip, the green kind
[ .. ] color: black, red, gray, or brown, sometimes hot pink
[ .. ] season: fall
[ .. ] holiday: christman
[ .. ] type of music: anything to to hard core
[ .. ] thing in your room: my comfy bed
[ .. ] place to be: anywhere but here
[ .. ] tv channel: i guess my shows on abc
[ .. ] overall food: potatoes
[ .. ] store: pac sun
[ .. ] fast food: mc donalds
[ .. ] restaurant: this place in philly
[ .. ] shape: hearts
[ .. ] time of day: night
[ .. ] mall: deptford? it sucks
[ .. ] board game: clue haha
[ .. ] car: dont drive
[ .. ] word: not sure
[ .. ] month: july/august
[ .. ] team: eagles
[ .. ] possession: computer
: what's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear :
[ .. ] eminem: sup gangster!
[ .. ] dog: woof
[ .. ] sexy: oh la la
[ .. ] britney spears: slut
[ .. ] nsync: should die
[ .. ] real world: blah blah blah
[ .. ] orange: soda
[ .. ] choice: too many
[ .. ] shit: on you
[ .. ] bisexual: gay boys
[ .. ] black: rose
[ .. ] insane clown posse: ?
[ .. ] linkin park: oh okay
[ .. ] jack: is a boy
[ .. ] rainbow: gay
[ .. ] cherry: shirley temple
[ .. ] cucumber: with ranch dressing
[ .. ] shark: ahh!
[ .. ] lifehouse: yep
[ .. ] bat: sleep at the day
[ .. ] leather: 60's
[ .. ] whips: bondage!!!
[ .. ] America: united states
[ .. ] water: i love<3
[ .. ] volcano: is hot
[ .. ] magic: rabbit
[ .. ] penis: vagina
[ .. ] love: you
private life :
[ .. ] do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: nope
[ .. ] do you have a crush: i think so
[ .. ] do you love anyone right now: nope
[ .. ] have you ever been in love: never
[ .. ] do you love more than one person: nope
[ .. ] how many hearts have you broken: none, i dont think?
[ .. ] so what is your bf/gf/crush like: ..adorable
[ .. ] do you have a picture of him/her: no
[ .. ] do you have a picture of yourself: yes
[ .. ] do you go by looks or personality: both
: would you ever :
[ .. ] bungee jump: yes
[ .. ] sky dive: yes
[ .. ] swim with dolphins: yes
[ .. ] scuba dive: yes
[ .. ] go rock climbing: yes
[ .. ] eat shit for $1,000,000: was i drunk?!
[ .. ] turn your back on your friends for personal gain: no
[ .. ] who's hot: that boy, over there
[ .. ] steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: no
[ .. ] cross-dress: ive dont that before haha
[ .. ] lie to the police: yes
[ .. ] run from the police: yes
[ .. ] lie to your parents: yes
[ .. ] walk up to a stranger and kiss them: are they cute?
[ .. ] walk out of a restaurant without paying: hah yes
: have you ever :
[ .. ] flashed someone: no
[ .. ] told the person you liked how you felt: all the time
[ .. ] been to Michigan: no
[ .. ] gotten really REALLY wasted: no
[ .. ] gone to jail or juvi: no
[ .. ] skateboarded: attempted
[ .. ] skinny dipped: not yet
[ .. ] stolen anything: yes
[ .. ] kicked someone's ass: hah of course
[ .. ] pegged someone in the head with a snowball: yes
[ .. ] broke a beer bottle: yes
[ .. ] gone on a road trip: yes
[ .. ] gone on vacation without adult supervision: hm, yes
[ .. ] been to a concert: yep
[ .. ] been to another country: no
[ .. ] talked back to an adult: yes
[ .. ] got pulled over: cant drive
[ .. ] got in a car accident: a little bumper?
[ .. ] broke a law: dont think so?
[ .. ] given money to a homeless person: a quarter
[ .. ] tried to kill yourself: no
[ .. ] cried to get out of trouble: yes
[ .. ] kissed a friend's brother or sister: no
[ .. ] kissed a brother or sister's friend: no
[ .. ] dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyways: yea
.. : opinions : .
[ .. ] what do you think...about pop music: its fun to dance to
[ .. ] about boy bands: sex-ay
[ .. ] about flag burning: no, its bad
[ .. ] of the war on terrorists: sad =\
[ .. ] about suicide: dont do it
[ .. ] about people who try to force their opinions on you: die
[ .. ] about abortion: sad too =[
[ .. ] about rock/metal music: niiice
[ .. ] where do you think you'll be in 10 years: ill be 25, college?
[ .. ] who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: missy, britt, chels, trish, mel, mel, britt<3
what did you do :
[ .. ] last birthday: went to a show, i think?
[ .. ] last weekend: friday, basket ball game, satruday show, sunday home
[ .. ] christmas: opened presents
[ .. ] thanksgiving: ate food
[ .. ] new year's eve: britts house. wowwww!
[ .. ] halloween: went out with britt, ricky, and missy
[ .. ] easter: eggs!
[ .. ] valentine's day: today is valentines day
: the last :
[ .. ] time you cried: the other day
[ .. ] thing you ate: chicken
[ .. ] thing you drank: tea
[ .. ] thing you wore: tee shirt and jeans
[ .. ] place you went: school
[ .. ] thing you got pierced/tattooed: my ears
[ .. ] person you saw: my mom and brother
[ .. ] person you hugged: dunno
[ .. ] person you talked to: my mom
[ .. ] song you heard: tbs, timberwolves at new jersey
[ .. ] what are you eating: nothing
[ .. ] what are you drinkiing: nothing
[ .. ] what are you wearing: jacket and jeans
[ .. ] any shoes on: nope
[ .. ] hair: down
[ .. ] listening to: a movie
[ .. ] talking to anyone: nope
: yes or no :
[ .. ] are you a vegetarian: no
[ .. ] do you like cows: i guess so?
[ .. ] are you a bitch: mhm
[ .. ] are you artistic: try
[ .. ] do you write poetry: yes
[ .. ] can you ski: no
[ .. ] are you british: no
[ .. ] are you straight: yes
[ .. ] are you short: no
[ .. ] are you tall: yes
[ .. ] are you a typical teenager: yes
[ .. ] do you shop at hot topic: not really
(thanks trishyyy) |
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| valentines day |
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| 03:21pm 14/02/2005 |
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mood: happy music: something corporate
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yay! its valentines day
woop woop, thats all it
was today, nothing too
special<3
i took my math test
im like so worried
i failed only because
i have a 47 in that class
but anyway yea
school was pretty boring
all i ever do is music
i dont do it
i like it, download
it alot. thats only
because nothing new has
been going on at all
some shows but thats all
im still looking for a boy
that likes me =\ not much
luck, eh who cares. i dont
ahah, yea thats all about that
and i have decided im addicted
to my computer, alot
im always on
and yesterday me and britt
made pancakes =]and we didnt
burn them, i was so happy
ahah. and i took a bubble bath<3
it was soo relaxing
thats all, oh and i like this journal hehe
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| my konstantine |
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| 03:23pm 13/02/2005 |
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mood:  sick music: konstantine<3
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<3 what a wonderful weekend
no really, im serious
why dont i just fall of the
face of the earth right now?
yea, it sort of sucked
friday-basket ball game
with my lovely governer
that was fun, SEEV and
MANtua, ill never forget it
saturday-detention and thrift sore
which was closed, so me and britt
went to sals instead, we like
live there. then there was the show
that was pretty fun, no boys
but still fun. um. then it was
back to britts house, we
watched the texas chainsaw massacre
scariest thing, like ever!!!
me and miss were like sitting on top
of eachother. good times
didnt get to sleep till 4:45?
yea i woke up at 9, im so tired
today-i came home
it was my brothers birthday
yay!! uh, i took a long bubble bath<3
now i need to get offline and do
all my homework and what not
it sucks, i hate school
i cant wait till next weekend
ahah just kidding
and my so called boy situation
zero, i have zero boys right now
<3 |
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| 02:32pm 11/02/2005 |
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BONDAGE WITH MY BIG OL GOVERNER!!!!!!!! <3 yay |
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| okay wow |
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| 08:48am 10/02/2005 |
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wow. i havent updated in a really long time
nothing has been going on, not really
i guess just school and sutff
and my friends, well some of them
are driving me crazy, i dont know
this saturday i have detention
with ryan and ricky, haha yay
that should be interesting
then theres the show satruday
im trying so hard not to get grounded
really, i am!! aha
i think malena<3 is going to the show
and shes bringing her boyy
and i think missy is going too!!!
major BONDING!! like a lot
and me and mel are going to tango
we are so good at it
then i think i might go shopping
on sunday, well i dont know
i want to, i have like 100 dollars
in gift cards for pac sun
okay so this morning i found
$5 on the ground, and was like
omg yay! so i picked it up
and now i have 5 bucks,
its just wet, from the rain
and yesterday it was so weird
my eye was so twitchy and
i dunno why. it was weird
and then i bit my lip
and it hurt really bad and i wanted
some ice but i was too cold
so it just hurt
thats all nothing is really going on
i just cant wait till saturday
ahah yay =]
later<3 |
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| the day after yesterday |
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| 06:53pm 23/01/2005 |
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mood:  groggy music: death cab
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so today was pretty
pointless, didnt really
do much, i finished my
paper and hung out with
britt, we took some
awesome pictures
eagles are going to
the super bowl!!!
=] #$%^&*( yay
ew, we have school
tomorrow, i am
deffinetly not looking
forward to it, i mean
mid terms, wtf?!
i think sometime this
week i am going to the
mall and barnes and nobles
yay, coffee =]
so yea i have talked to
<3eriffic all weekend
i think the loser had work
boo you whore!!! <3
im done with another
pointless update..
tell me that i am everything
you've ever wanted.. |
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| snow <3 |
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| 08:26pm 22/01/2005 |
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mood:  hyper music: maybe memories
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it snowed today
a lot i think like
9 inches or something
me britt and brady
all went sledding
then we almost got killed
buy the snow plow man
it was scurry
nothing is really going on
i dont see or talk to my dad
anymore, i mean, he hates me
so yea, why do that to myself
uh, im in a really good mood
lately, minus the whole
mid terms thing, it really sucks
the whole school thing sucks
but yea, its life
boys: they suck
but, me and britt, we are
going to find some good ones
like REALLY good ones
because, you know
we can, we're awesome like that
<3eriffic<3
im supposed to be grounded
for like 2 weeks
but i am allowed out?
i think, i dunno
my moms being all nice
or something like that
mhm, so i think that
i am addicted to myspace
its so sucky inney of my brain
(wow, totally forget i wrote that)
thats that
but right now
i am so $%^&*
why? i have no idea
maybe its from the
whole bottle of pepsi
i like drank today
anyway yea i have no idea
but im going to end this up date
seal it with a kiss
because tonight's
our last dance |
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| fall just one more time with me |
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| 04:41pm 05/01/2005 |
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you are so out of control, my words me nothing now. i am dying inside to know who drove you to be this vile. do you hear the sound my heart makes as you break it down to peices that will never fit back together as we fall deeper into this never ending darkness thinking about you. who lives for nothing and dies for no one except the love of another. then you disregard and dont react to that fact that anything you may say will break me down and tear my life apart since everything else around me is shattering into life expecting lies. i once heard that each and everytime yor heart breaks, you grow stronger. you just dont forget how it felt to be ask broken as you were that day.
yea? <3 |
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| sick =\ |
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| 03:30pm 05/01/2005 |
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mood:  blank music: not sure?
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yea, so.
im sick
it sucks like really bad
i cant wait till the show
on the 15th!! %^&*$%^&*
fun-ness.
yea if thats a word
i need to find out what
im doing this weekend
im with my dad so
im not sure ..
but i know i really want to
go out friday
so .. if anyones willing
call 856.466.3325
i am still oh so confused
about my stupid problem
my boy problem
just.. stupid
yea, so thats all
nothing really new
except my aunt and uncle
are moving in! thumbs down,
big time. but thats all
loves an excuse to get hurt,
so hurt me. |
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| the day after yesterday |
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| 06:28pm 02/01/2005 |
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mood: satisfied
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today was like a normal day
minus the fact that
i felt like total shit
didnt write my paper
didnt really eat anything
i really still dont feel good
but i am pretty sure
that i am going to school tomorrow
this break went by way to fast
i didnt really do anything
hung out with britt and ryan and
ricky and mark alot
good times =]
new years eve was fun
so was the day after
i didnt know i said some
of that stuff? lmao
going back to school
is going to suck ass
so bad, i hate it
but oh well
boys =]
yea, so comment? i mean if you want to
if you have the urge <3 |
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| 2005 |
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| 12:01pm 01/01/2005 |
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mood: okay
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so this is the new year, i dont feel any different. the clanking of crystal. <3
i was at brittts last night, i love her aunts, lol. ryan, ricky, and mark came over. we went to wawa in her aunts car. which was only supposed to hold like 4 people and actaully held like 7, but very uncomfortably. it was pretty fun all in all though. ddint get to sleep until about 2:30. my birthday is in 15 days!! =] i cant wait.
i have a paper to write, but i have nooo clue about what it is supposed to be on. so what ever. uh, i think i was supposed to meet ryan at the mummers parade, but im not sure if i am going. oh well.
this was a pretty gayyy update.
comment? i know my lovely malena will. <3
happy new year? i guess. if its happy. =] |
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| things have been looking up. |
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| 10:16am 29/12/2004 |
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mood: happy music: not sure?
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yea, i think that everything
may start to get better?
yea since christmas?
yea i guess i am just happy
because i have my computer
and can talk to all my friends
again.
my lovely malena is moving!
and we are going to have a party
just me and her
and lots and lots of
very hot boys.
it should be really fun,
something to look forward to.
=] <3333
and for boys.
oh man oh man
i have no idea.
i want one so bad
actaully i want 3
=] no, im not selfish
at all
anyway
new years is like coming
soon?
and i dont know what i am doing yet
let me know? |
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| another day where i wish i wasnt living |
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| 04:40pm 17/12/2004 |
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mood:  depressed music: the used
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yea..another pointless day
in my life, where nothing
is going to work out
the show is tonite
its not even going to be good
but i want, no, need to get out
i hate my mom and my brother
my family is disfunctional
i cant take it anymore
i do EVERYTHING
and what the fuck do i get back?
im fucking grounded for opening a box
addressed to my mom
oh well
FUCK YOU!
i want to get out
and have one fun night
this weekend
because i have two projects
due monday
but no, not at all
i have to stay home and
sit in my room
my life, i have decided.
is pointless and worthless
no one cares about it at all.
i freaking tel her i think
i am depressed
does she do anything?
no not at all.
she doesnt care
if she didnt have to.
she wouldnt even fucking
feed me
yea, so thats all.
sams life=gayer than ever!
just end it, now. |
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